Journal Log #3

The date is 25/02/2016
Weather: sunny.

The boy breathe with ease as he finished his last assessment.
As he threw all of the notes he has single-handedly created, he smiled.
"All the works, finally paid off." He told himself.
Although he is happy that the exam has concluded, he feels kinda sad. Being an international student would mean he will no longer be able to stay in this country for long. Until his next intake, he will need to go back to where he belong.
Home is where you belong. In place where he could never find himself to be 'himself', he feels kinda depressed.
The boy learns just how much is it to be independent and he has been leading this type of life for as long has he knows and to go back to his parents, he feeks kinda off.
Well, all is well. At the end of the day, there is nothing the boy could have done except to accept his fate.

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Journal Log #2

The date is 20/02/2016
Weather is Sunny with a lil bit of cloud.

"lonely"
For some unknown reason, the word "lonely" seems to resonates in the boy's heart. As he sat down on a train that was heading towards his home, he wondered how fulfilled his life is.
He had friends, he had the best partner and his family is always there for him. Although, he had what not many people had, he still feels lonely.
As the sign from the train signalled the destination he is supposed to stop at, he got out of the train and began walking to the counter. Trying to find the purpose of his life, he realized he had none. While some are satisfied with their mandatory life, he believed he had bigger aim in his life. He wants to believe just how much he is different that others that worked 8AM to 6PM everyday and coming home to their family with warm smile. He has bigger dream. Although, he knew that setting others apart from him would consciously push people that are around him, he decided to take the risk.
He wants to feel superior.
As the curtain of thoughts drop, ending the performance, he realized. He realized that he didn't have to feel lonely at all. In fact, he had everything to begin with. He just never cherished anything that is around him.
The word kept resonating in his heart. He knew, someday, he will be alone, left on the shelf without anyone caring about him anymore. He knew it. But then again, he told himself "At the end of the day, we are all going to be left in a box under a dirt, waiting to be returned to earth. " As he said this, his night concluded.

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Journal Log #1

The date is 19/02/2016.
Weather: Chilly.

It was four o'clock in the evening. The boy has just woken up from his deep slumber. Lying down still on his bed, he closed his eyes and listened to his surrounding. It was nothing but serene sound of the rain. It was peaceful. Nothing is happening and nothing will happen.
On the bed where he could feel the breeze of cold wind, he embraced. Those moments where he was supposed to have, seems to be gone already. He reminisced the past where nothing seems to be a problem. He smiled as he thought about how fun it was. Unfortunately, an unknown event took place which made a deep impact to his life. The boy, he was clueless. He was upset. Confused as of what happened, those blessings which was supposed to be grasped by his hand, flew away. Like candle that was blown, he no longer had any light to illuminate his life anymore.
Even now, he wondered, was it his mistakes?
He had no idea, probably yes. It was his mistake, in fact, maybe he is the only person to blamed. He told himself, " I will never give it up and I will try my best to make changes even when it is marginal. "
With that in mind, his days passed by peacefully.

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Dark Cloud.

I am tired,
Tired of being push around. Tired of thinking what will happen the next day. Tired of trying to be positive but it ain't solve anything.
Is there anything that I can do for myself? Because I have tried, exhausting all sorts of ideas, to be more independent, to achieve all sorts of recognition. I have tried and now I am tired.
As I lay rest in this deep slumber, I am overcomed with a dark cloud. A dark cloud which consume nothing but my fear. A dark cloud that is going to take everything from me, and, nothing, I believe could stop it. Till the sun starts shining again, I am going to be left with nothing, again, depriving of sunlight, the dark cloud shall take over me.

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Epilogue -2-

   Sorry for skipping out yesterday and the day before.

   Well I am kinda done with talking about my family.
   In this post, it will be the time when I am with this special person. Well, she is kinda like a childhood friend. Our relationship with each other is kinda complicated, but basically, we are childhood friend. We have known each other for about eight years and it's still going on kinda strong. We haven't met each other for quite awhile now and even these Epilogues blogs are tasked by her to be written out. Don't get me wrong as well, when it's titled Epilogue, it doesn't mean the end of the blog. It just means the end of my seven days long break.
   Let's go back to the main topic for the post, so this person is kinda special to me right now. She is flying off to Subang to further her studies soon and honestly speaking, I am going to miss you a lot. Well, it doesn't make much difference because we are already separated by a sea, but it's kinda different because you are gonna be even further away from me and it will be kinda hard to reach you from October on wards. Sincerely, I wish you all the best for your college life, I am sure with your personality, you will always find someone new there to take care of you and once you do, I will definitely feel more relieved and since we are in the same course, you can always ask me regarding some topics, if we happen to share the common studying topics.
   Alright, just in case if you are wondering, how did we ended up reconcile our lost relationship. Of course, knowing the type of person I am, I am honestly not the kind of person to ask another person out unless he/she means something to me. So, on 20th( I honestly couldn't remember if this is the exact date, so we will just go along with it.) she snapchatted  me on whether I am in Batam or whether I am not which of course I answered with a yes. We had a small talks and ended up in a conversation where I told her, I had totally not a single idea on what I should be doing in Batam, she suggested food hunting which I answered again with I had no idea where to go. She, again, suggested a place to me, and the small modern coffee shop called Saint Cinnamon.

   I picked my childhood friend up and we are headed there the very next day. The shop is located at City walk, it's definitely a gem among the stones.  As I stepped inside the shop, a visibly strong pleasant aroma of coffee beans can be detected, the decoration for the shop itself is kinda neat. The noise pollution aren't too high as it is located at a not so busy street after all. This place is definitely aimed for students looking for place to studies or chill. They even provided some board games for their customers to play with. This is a very big plus points for me. :D
   Me and my childhood friend decided to order some drinks and some pastry which looks kinda delish. We started with a cup of Hazeulnut Latte (hers), Caramel Macchiato Frappucino (mine) and Hazenut Almond Bread (ours).

    My drink kinda taste like Starbucks' except that I am paying less than half of that Starbucks' price and still get the same quality drink. But oh boy, the Hazelnut pastry, they are mmmmddaaaaaappppp (means they are tasty). The almond seeds scattered on top blend quite perfectly with the hazelnuts paste. They are really delicious I must say, for a first time experience, I must say they are a great experience and I will definitely go and visit the shop again.
   But still, food only tastes nicer when you are with someone that you like, being with this qtpie childhood of mine, I must really say that I enjoyed quite fair lot of our time together. I even got present from her, tadaaahhh

   A red glass frame without lenses and a cute handmade handcraft with letter 'H' behind it, which symbolizes me. Hey qtpie, it's damn cute ymy, HAHA, so I am really really grateful with your presents. She also told me that these things are something that she wanted to give but ended up didn't for... some reasons? (????) :3. But oh well. Regardless of what it is, I just want to tell you I like them a lot. Theyyy are really cute and I will definitely treasure them, okayy? I won't lose them and as I promised you, my camera will be missing first before the handcraft! Haha, so rest assured! Alright?

   After what seems to be a 3-4 hours session of being with each other I sent her to Nagoya Hill as she had something else to do. Time felt so short whenever I am with you, so, I will promise to cherish every single moment we had together. :3. Oh hey yes, I picked a not so unglam picture for you, so dun worreeh!

   Alright this concludes the first meet up, I will now talk about the second embarrassing meet up with my childhood friend. Alrrrigghhtttt, there was a catastrophe. But let's talk about what happened and what we have done for the second meet up.

   We went to BCS to watch a movie and holy shit guys, watching movies in Indonesia is dirt cheap. A ticket can cost only 25 000 IDR (eqvlnt to +- $2.50) only or during the weekend it will cost the most 40 000 IDR (roughly + - $4) for one tic.

  Oh well, I must say the movie Demonic is definitely a good 7/10. The plot is good, the story line is kinda interesting, the music background is kinda at appropriate timing as well but still, it was too generic. I am not the one to critic on movies anyway, moving along, during the show, I must say my this qtpie friend of mine, you are so cute. HAHA. You are like closing your ears when you anticipated some scary scene and at some point of times, you will blink so fast that it looks kinda funny. HAHAHA. Oh well, overall as long as it's with you, it will definitely be enjoyable. :))))
  Next, we proceeded to have some small snacks. On our way there, we caught a friend of hers that is having a 'secret' date with another guy. So, we tried to avoid them and quickly headed to Kaiten Sushi for our snacks. I was kinda mad at her because she didnt tell me what type of cuisine she would prefer, she only told me when we are in the shop and when we ordered. Don't do that again next time, babe.
  Firstly, as usual, we will talk about the atmosphere and interior. The atmosphere was kinda Japanesey. I havent been to Japan but based on my nine of years of being an anime fan boy, I must say, Kaiten Sushi in 3rd floor of BCS could nearly replicate a Japanese amenity. 

why you so cute?:3

Next what about the food?

and this is my favourite :)

this is her favourite :)

Honestly speaking, I have nothing much to say except that they taste as nice as they look. The taste are kinda up to standards but, the food they whipped do not really retain the Japanese 'feel' and they used too much mayonnaise which I disliked the most.
   Still remember about the catastrophe I was speaking about earlier on?
Here. Take a deep breath before you decided to read it.
              I did not have enough money to pay for the food.
Yeah, I had only IDR 100 000 +++ and the total price for the food was 200k odds. I was sooooo embarrassed, it was totally my first time eating food with someone else and not having enough money to pay for the total bill because I did not remember that I had topped up the gas for the car. Oh my god... I will definitely remember this for the rest of my life. :C and to Selly, I am sorry to make you pay for the food I reallyyy reallly really do not mean to do it! and trust me, I will make sure to return this kindness when you come Singapore to visit me:3 ok? Whatever you want, I will definitely make it come true if you visit me, just for you to you and only you :)))!

Btw, I just wanna say, you really really have a damn cute cat smile and every single time you smile to me, my heart will stop beating for a moment, I will freeze and yeah, can't react. Cuz just too cute ymy :3 and pls the other time when you send me the snapchat, you are really really really honestly cute as well. <3.<3. Love love. HAHAHAHA. Ok enough.
So this is what are left and we proceeded to go home after all of these as I needed to be with my family to go to 23rd Lvl of Planet Hotel. Oh well, I drove her home and yeah, the end of second meet ups. Let's have meet up again soon. Lalalala.

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Epilogue-1-

Today, marks the end of one week stay back in my home country. I have spent most of the seven days doing absolutely nothing but mostly, sleeping and eating. It's kind of a tear in my heart as I won't get to live such an easy going life back in Singapore.

At this post, I will just be briefly speaking about 7 days trip which I spent with my family.

While I was in ferry, I was sort of excited and animated as I have not been back home for the past 4 months, so naturally, I miss my parents, my brother as well as the house itself. 
Due to excitement, a forty-five minutes of ferry ride feels like eternity. 

After what seems to be eternity, I finally 'landed' in Batam. I was picked up by my bro and his girlfriend and after a fifteen minutes car rides, I was greeted with home cooked steak cooked by my beloved mom. 

I must say, the steak befits a 5-stars restaurant cooking. They are honestly delectable. Especially because they are deer meat cooked to perfection, they taste fantastically appetizing. The meat is soft and tender and they cooked with love, hence it explains how tasty they are.

After eating what seems to be a dinner/late lunch, I suggested to my bro and his girlfriend to have a dessert. As he suggested that there was a Independence Day promotion in MacDonald where we could purchase anything and we will receive a free Indonesian themed ice cream and I, being a fan of MacDonald for as far as I could remember, readily agreed to his proposal. So, our journey to MacDonald commenced promptly and of course, we were rewarded with tasty ice creams.

And after the errr, dessert session, we went home and played billiards for a couple of hours. Which afterwards, we went home and sleep and that's the end of the first day.

Next, errr, let me just skip to the fourth day. Honestly, the second and third day wasn't even worth the mentioning because I spent that one day without doing a single thing. I was in the house except for the fact that I went to eat pudding in the night time. I will just share it with you.

They are kinda bland, but oh well. Let's skip to the fourth day.

So, on the fourth day, dad decided to bring us to go and eat seafood. Whenever you are here, in Batam, all you gotta try is the seafood. They are very reasonably priced and very delish. Trust me, I am engineer. But, before we head the seafood food place, we went to drink dragon fruit juice and there I met my love. She was very cute and because of her cuteness, I didn't have any chance to take picture of the dragon fruit juice. Let us see how cute she is.

Isn't she cute?? Omg, she is staring until my soul. She is just so irresistible. The moment I laid my eyes on her, I had to hug her and I had to play her.

Alright let's go back to the seafood. After having our Dragon Fruit juice, we went ahead to the Kelong.

It was scenic and relaxing, the air around the area is fresh. Due to the fact that it is very isolated from the urbanized area, it's very quiet and kinda comfortable to be in. We ordered few dishes and most notably, crayfish. In case, if you have never seen a crayfish before, I will just show you.

They swims as though as they are going into opposite direction but that's their butt. Oh well, regardless of how they swim, they are going to be eaten by me anyway. - devil horn and muahahah-

Right, we had our fill in the kelong and the food there are one of a kind. The seafood are fresh as they are freshly caught from the sea. The crab, the fish and conch. Fresh from the sea!

After the heavy meal, I spotted a rare, once in a lifetime kind of portable ice cream shop. Of course, without hesitation, my bro and I decided to indulge in the meager dessert. And without hesitation, we buy them and finished it very quickly.
After eating, we headed home and as it was already kinda late, we headed home to rest and sleep. This marks the end of fourth day.

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Mind>Heart

     When your heart is divided, your mind must stay collected. Let your heart rest and let your mind do the job. Sometimes, letting go what you most desired will lead to unfathomable happiness. The feeling of losing something or someone might be painful but it does leave a bittersweet taste, as long as you get used to it. You might lose everything and end up being a lone wolf but, unlike others that writhe in pain of being lonely, you triumphed.
      You smiled even as you are feeling anguished. You are fully aware, the next day, the next next day, for the remaining of the year as well for the rest of your life, you are aware, aware that you have to put a mask to deceive others of your own well beings.
      You made others laugh, and you were satisfied being able to do so. You smiled as others take you as a fool. Even when you are insulted, berated, looked down upon, still, you smiled. To keep everyone happy, you numbed your feelings. Keeping yourself contained in a little jar that could explode any time without prior notice. Still, you risked it. You let your heart take control of your emotion and you turned into a pathetic person. You are happy as long as others are happy, you do not even give a damn about what you are turning into and yes, deep inside, you do know that you are lonely.
      In reality, you are in pain. You need someone, someone that would acknowledge just how much you meant to them. You need someone to be with you just strolling down the road, have a meal together, hide under a blanket and talk about life. You need to be known and to be cared and you want to be loved and, sadly, you can't have any of those liberties. As long as you let your heart control your soul, you will always be alone. Your heart isn't strong enough to bear all of the burden.
       Let your mind think through what's the best for yourself and one day, you might just find what you are searching for.

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